Desperate
by Servala
Summary: Since she had read an article about the asari councilor Shepard is madly in love with her. No one came close to her vision of Tevos. She had found a lot friends, but no one could conquer her heart. After Thessia she felt that she had dissappointed Tevos and she needed to see her, needed to be close to her, so she's taking a gamble.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Since she had read an article about the asari councilor Shepard is madly in love with her. No one came close to her vision of Tevos. She had found a lot friends, but no one could conquer her heart. After Thessia she felt that she had dissappointed Tevos and she needed to see her, needed to be close to her, so she's taking a gamble.**

**Disclaimer: Mass Effect 3 and its assets belong to Electronic Arts and BioWare  
purely for fun and expression of my love for the game**

**Pairing: Commander Shepard/ Councilor Tevos **

"Preparations to make of which I never thought they would be necessary..."

Commander Shepard was about to say something, anything, that would alleviate the agony in Councilor Tevos's voice. But she had no words and she just stared into the empty comm room, even after the connection to the Citadel had ended minutes ago.

They had so mercilessly failed on Thessia and now the planet, the blue jewel of the galaxy, was lost. The asari retreated and they could not even evacuate their population. For all their intellect, all their skills, they had not been prepared.

Shepard's throat was tight and dry. She had to go, her crew waited to discuss the next steps, but she could not move. She leaned her head against the wall, eyes closed. The metal cooled her forehead and the gentle hum of the ship grounded her.

No one, not even her closest friends Liara, Ashley, or Tali knew of her love for the asari Councilor. Especially Ash mocked her often, that she finally should look for a nice soldier for some stress relief, but then she laughed and shook her head. She wanted no one else and if she had never spoken other than official to Tevos, the asari was the center of Shepard's dreams. The Commander did not pursue the feelings, it was just too much that stood between them, but against her dreams she was powerless.

Ironically to disappoint Tevos, to see the desperation in her eyes, to hear the breaking of her voice was too much, even for her as an experienced soldier. She had to go to Citadel, had to see to her, to tell her face to face how sorry she was.

"Joker , we head to the Citadel" she informed her pilot, before she went to her crew in the hope they had found a track for Kai Leng. Then she would take care of Liara, because her best friend suffered no less.

...

It took the Commander a lot of persuasion to get in Tevos's bureau. The door opened with a hissing noise and she found herself in a dark, dimly lit room. Shepard had never been in the asari embassy, or other non-human, and she looked interested around.

"Siria, I told you I do not want to be disturbed," the gentle, but very weary voice of Tevos sounded from the back of the embassy.

"Yes, she told me." Shepard went in the direction and her eyes cached the Councilor. Tevos sat on a bright sofa. Her right arm was draped over the back and she hold her neck, while she clutched a handkerchief with the other. The moist gleam in her eyes threw Shepard off track.

"Commander?" The Asari cleared her throat. "Can ... can I do something for you?"

Shepard coughed nervously and bobbed up and down. She looked as Tevos slid her hand from her neck over forehead, dabbed her eyes, and stood up. "Um ," she searched for words . "I ... you had the conversation ended so quickly and..."

Tevos came closer and her usually expressive eyes were outlined in red. "Not a nice feeling when someone is doing that with you? " Shepard laughed dryly and shook her head. It would have been funny if the circumstances were not so overwhelming.

"I wanted to ask whether you have any further information?" She followed Tevos to the darkened windows and the Councilor let them get a little bit more transparent. Shepard's gaze slid over the fine lines of the asari's face and she wanted so much to be able to stop the pain.

"No more than you, probably. The communication is still dead and ... and ... " The asari hung her head and took a deep breath. "I doubt that we can restore it. Thessia is lost."

The sadness in her words tore Shepard and she felt helpless. "I'm sorry." Tevos clasps her hands behind her back.

"Have you any idea, how Cerberus could learn about the place so quickly?" Shepard asked after a few embarrassing moments of silence. She searched desperately for a topic, to not going to have to leave again, to stay close to the asari.

Tevos gaze drifted to a point in the distance. "No. Even if the existence of the temple was no secret, yet its true meaning was. Even I have learned recently from its true purpose." Her hands clutched her forearms and Shepard wished she could take her in her arms. "Maybe ... they followed you?"

Shepard moistened her lips. "Kai Leng was before us in the temple. He had killed the scientists before we arrived."

Tevos exhaled slowly and nodded. "Then I do not know it, and I ... I know I should have answers, yet..." Shepard reached out and touched Tevos on the upper arm. The asari looked at the hand, but she did not shake it off.

"I'm sorry." Shepard felt like an idiot. Otherwise articulate, she missed her vocabulary now. It was the mix of long-held, secret love, the closeness and Tevos lonely sadness.

"You already said Commander." Shepard slid her hand through her hair and Tevos followed the movement.

"Yes," she brushed a strand behind the ear and swallowed.

"Why am you really here, Commander? You could contact me also."

She tried a smile as she looked Tevos in the eye. "I was not sure if you do not hang me again."

Now the hint of a smile lightened up the Councilor's face. "Then you could ask me this time whether it is some kind of game." Surprised that she remembered Shepard blinked several times.

"So, why are you really come to me?"

The Commander took refuge in a military attitude, she clasped her hands behind her back, and breathed slowly one time in and out. "I had to make sure that you are fine." Tevos eyes widened and in fascination Shepard watched in awe, as the drawing her forehead shifted. She believed she had not ever seen a asari, whose drawings pleased her so well. They only deepened the beauty of Tevos's face.

"Why?" The Councilor looked past her, but then their eyes met again.

"I ... was worried."

Tevos smiled and touched her on the shoulder. If even gently, it was enough to set the young woman on fire. "Do you take care of everyone that well?" She did not sound repellent, just tired.

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, she just did not know how she should keep them. as she nodded. "It's part of my job." She smiled and when she saw Tevos smile it made her heart jump.

"You should not be alone, not after such a setback."

The green eyes of the asari darkened. "And why do you think I am alone, Commander?"

She stiffened and Shepard cursed herself in thought. She really did not know much from Tevos life. She could have ask Liara to find out everything important, but she had not wanted to dig in the asari's privacy. "You sit alone in you office." She tried to appease.

Tevos closed her eyes and for moments pain lingered on her face. "Well, perhaps my bondmate was on Thessia?"

Shepard had never thought that Tevos was bond, and she was taking a risk by looking at Tevos left hand. "No bracelet."

Tevos chuckled and nodded. "Because you are right." She put Shepard again a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you Commander, I really appreciate that you have seen after me." Shepard was suddenly with a sinking feeling aware that she said goodbye. She felt well in Tevos nearby, and also felt that it helped the asari . She looked into her eyes and came closer. Tevos hand slipped from her shoulder and remained on her upper arm.

"Commander?" Her beautiful voice got a breathless note and Shepard did something of which she dreamed for so long. Since she had saw the first time Tevos photo, as a simple soldier on a mission she had long forgot . What had not forgotten was the image of the Councilor and her soft , full lips. Shepard had imagined how they would feel and she knew if she missed this moment, she would never get the opportunity again.

She grabbed Tevos at the hip and looked into her eyes, then she lowered her eyelids, and their lips met. The asari's warm, sweet breath met her and Shepard had to force herself not to become to bold. Tevos did not respond, except for a faint yearning whimper as she increased the pressure gently, stroking her tongue over her lower lip.

Shepard ended the kiss and expected a reaction, anything between kicking and a slap in her face, but nothing happened. She hold the Councilor still at the hip, but Tevos right hand slid to her own lips. Her index finger grazed over the full lower lip and the Commander could hardly pull her eyes away. Only the expression of absolute surprise in the eyes of the asari let her look up.

"Commander ," she asked in surprise .

"Is it that long ago?" Shepard replied with a counter-question. She hem as Tevos tongue replaced her fingers and licked her lips. "But that was not you first kiss?" She meant it as a joke, but the amazement of the Councilor surprised her.

"Commander , have you actually a clue how old I am?"

She laughed and shook her head, intoxicated that Tevos had not yet parted from her. "No. It is difficult to estimate the age at an asari. In addition, all say in the first centuries, they were just so and so old, and from five hundred it change to ' I've experienced in my thousand years already so much'" Shepard smirked. "Four Hundred?" she estimated with a wink and Tevos smiled.

"Flatterer."

The Commander felt encouraged, as the fingers of the Asari pushed into her hair and then slowly slid over the top of her ear. Her whole body was on fire and she bent her head to kiss the Councilor again. This time Tevos came to meet her, hesitant yet, but as their tongues touched, Shepard had to hold her tight, otherwise she would have slipped to the ground. Tevos's hand rummaged through her hair and then held her by the neck. Shepard could not get enough and yet she forced herself not to be too rough. The Asari reminded her of a shy deer, confused by her own feelings, ready to withdraw at any moment.

"I wanted to do since Udina has thrown you to the ground," her voice was rough and she cleared her throat.

"You shot him," Tevos seemed fascinated by her hair, because she rolled up another red streak, and brushed her thumb over it.

"It was not enough," a dark, dangerous undertone crept in her voice, a repressed anger that the man had dared to touch the asari. Tevos hand covered her cheek, the desperate look in her eyes was gone, and Shepard nearly drowned in the green. It was different than her own eye color, deeper. "Let me hold you," Shepard suggested, " how long has it been since someone has taken the burden off your shoulders?"

Tevos looked away. She knew exactly how long it had been since: centuries. Since someone she had loved above all else, had broken her heart. Centuries in which she had devoted her entire being to their people. Centuries she had been alone. It was so long ago that she could not even remember how it felt. "You want to embrace eternity with me?" She could not believe that she asked that question. Ironically, Commander Shepard. Tevos felt how her cheeks heated up.

"In the life I live, I can not promise an eternity, but one evening. An evening where I want to take care of you." Tevos smiled. She did not believe that Shepard had misunderstood her. The Commander , however, felt the heart beat up in her throat. She assumed that deeds would help her more, and she kissed Tevos again, waiting for a sign of defense, but the Councilor cuddled up to her, and an unexpected desire captured the Commander. Her hand slid to the closure of the robe, but Tevos shook her head.

"No," Shepard nodded and fought her disappointment, but the asari covered her cheek with her hand. "Not here," she looked around her office. "If, if we want to do this, then come back in two hours in my apartment. I'll wait, but I will not be disappointed, if you should not …"

Shepard stroked Tevos's crest and was surprised how soft the skin that felt under her fingers. By the scales she would have thought it would be rougher, not like pure velvet. "The Normandy remains overnight. My crew is searching for hints."

Tevos pulled away from the embrace to activate her Omnitool and shortly afterwards flashed the the Commander hers. She saw the address and swallowed. "You have to go now."

Shepard nodded, but looked back from the door once more, to watch how Tevos was touching her lips again.


	2. Chapter 2

Commander Shepard was nervous as she left her ship. Her usual clothes had not felt not good enough for the occasion, and so she had decided for her black dress uniform. She tugged nervously at the cuffs of her left sleeve and waited for the airlock to open.

"A date?" Ashley Williams leaned with her shoulder against the outer wall.

"A meeting. You are in command Lieutenant-Commander."

Ash saluted and nodded. "You are going to tell us about it?" Shepard looked back over her shoulder and Ashley sighed as she recognized the "No" in the eyes of her commander.

Shepard ordered a cab and walked the last few meters on foot. She could hardly believe that she would spend time with Tevos. Her heart was beating her up in her neck and her fingers were wet. She felt like a teenager before the first date, and as she thought about how long it had been since she had met for the last time with someone, the idea was not so far-fetched. It also didn't matter what would happen in the coming night. Even if they would just keep company for an hour or two with each other and talk, she would be happy.

Shepard wiped her hand on her trousers, and ran her hand through her hair, again, as she left the elevator. At this level, there was only one apartment. The security was incredibly high, but that was no surprise for Shepard. Not then she thought about who was living here. She looked into the camera and waited until the door opened. She swallowed hard as she entered the apartment.

...

Inside, it was weaker illuminated, like it had been in the embassy and Shepard needed a moment to capture her surroundings. "Madam Councilor," she bowed, as she had learned it from Liara, with one hand over the heart and smiled, as Tevos's cheeks colored slightly.

"Commander." Tevos smiled, but Shepard recognized a breathless note in her voice and as she realized, the asari was no less nervous than she was, she regained some of composure back. They both wanted this, they just had to find out how far.

"Call me Tevos", the Councilor asked and Shepard nodded. "Very well, but only if you do not call me Commander." Tevos laughed and agreed. "But I will stay with Shepard," she said in a firm voice and as the young woman wanted to protest, she continued: "We asari gave up our family name if we put ourselves in the service of our people. It is a sign of respect and devotion. With you it is similar. You are Shepard. It would feel wrong and disrespectful to your deeds."

The Commander sighed. "Okay, well no crazier than what Dr. Chakwas said." She waved her hand dismissively as Tevos looked questioningly at her. "A really nice place," she said to change the subject, where it hit home not quite. The premises were distributed on two levels, openly and stylish furnishings, without overcharging. Her gaze drifted back to Tevos and she was suddenly aware that the Councilor was not wearing her usual robe. She had changed her clothes and opted for a white, airy dress with light blue and silver accents. Her skin shimmered and was emphasized by the silken fabric. "But not as gorgeous as its inhabitant," she tried to cover up her mistake.

Tevos blushed again. "The uniform suits you excellently also." They looked at each other and grinned.

"You do this very often?"

Tevos shook her head and then went on into the living area. A small, ready laid table was placed in front of a huge window. "I did not know if you want something to eat," she sounded incredibly uncertain. Shepard found the contrast to her performances in the Council surprising, but not annoying, because she thought, that she didn't looked like her otherwise heroically self, like she was portrait in the media.

But she regained more and more of her inner strength and went to the asari. She gently placed a hand on Tevos's cheek and brushed her thumb over the soft skin. "Food sounds good, but if you just want to talk, that's okay too. Let's just see where this leads, and forget everything else for this evening. The galaxy can wait for some hours."

Tevos cuddled her cheek in the palm of Shepard's hand and nodded. "I would like…". She came closer and her body fitted perfectly to Shepard's. "Yes?" They young woman held her breath as Tevos lowered her head. "…Check something out..." Tevos lips covered hers, and Shepard slipped out a moan. She held the Asari tight at the hip, while her tongue slipped between her lips. She moaned again and could not believe how good it felt. Immediately a wave of excitement swept across her body and when the asari's brushed though her hair, Shepard almost lost control.

Tevos ended the kiss gently and slid her right index finger over her lips. A mysterious, but satisfied smile lit up her face and Shepard had to ask. "Successfully tested?"

The Asari nodded. "Shall we sit down?" She did not wanted, because then she would have to let go the physical contact, but she agreed, and sat down at the small table. The look out the window beside her was fantastic, an almost unclouded view of the arms of the Citadel. But it was not as captivating as the sight of her hostess. Tevos poured them a red wine and then hesitated.

"I guess I should have ask earlier, but we are close to a fantastic sushi restaurant. Reservations last for months, but I know one of the cooks and have us ordered something for tonight." She began again to sound nervous and Shepard smiled. "Sushi sounds good. I have heard of the restaurant. Alone the aquarium walls should be a dream."

Tevos came back with two plates and sat down opposite her. "They are. I'm afraid every time I break through the glass when I walk over the floor, and see the fish underneath." She smiled. "I saw krogan's walking over it, and yet I cannot shake up the thought." When she smiled, her face lit up, and Shepard's heard fluttered.

...

The conversation began halting, but soon they found their rhythm. Shepard quickly knew she was lost. Tevos was amusing, sophisticated without to get lost in scientific analysis like it happened sometimes with. Her smile reminded Shepard on a sunrise on the earth, bright and radiant. It let her forget everything else. In addition, her voice was like liquid honey, dark, sweet, and Shepard could have listened to her for an eternity.

By the dessert she lost herself completely to the Councilor.

There were fruits with a, - as she has been already seen it from other asari - sweet, earthly yoghurt similar sauce. The consistency reminded the Commander rather of cream. It was an interesting, very fruity aromatic flavor. She did not thought over it, simply took one of the fruits on the spoon, held it over the table, and as Tevos leaned forward, and took the spoon between her lips, Shepard's whole body clenched together with desire. The look the Asari gave her was the purest seduction and the Commander could not remember to have seen something so erotic before.

When Tevos licked some cream of the lower lip, Shepard was ready to jump over the table. She cleared her throat and stood up apologetically. In the bathroom she leaned against the door and took a deep breath. Her body was shaking. She wanted Tevos. Not just for one night, she wanted to take her in her arms and never let go. The desire was burning and she filled water in her palms to cool off her face. When she was sure that she would not pounce like a wild animal on the Councilor, she dried off, and left the small bathroom.

Confused, she looked around, then she discovered Tevos in front of the large window. She had clasped her hands behind her back and looked outside. Shepard could see her face in profile and as the asari turned her head and their eyes met, she wondered, why she actually slowed herself.

Slowly she walked over and Tevos turned fully to her. Her eyes lit up and she stretched out her hand to touch a wet strand of Shepard's hair. They said nothing, came closer and kissed. Tevos sighed softly against her lips and almost hesitantly slid both her hands into Shepard's hair, drew from the Commander a moan as her whole body inflamed.

"Please stay," Tevos voice broke and Shepard nodded, nothing could stop her. Only with those few kisses, the burden of years dropped from her shoulders. Sweet and fruity, as the wine they had for dinner. With every kiss, every touch of their tongues, she had to hold Tevos more. The Councilor swayed. Her hands slid over Shepard's neck, her hair, her back, and clung to the uniform jacket till Shepard could no longer bear it. She leaned her forehead against the panting asari and saw in veiled longing eyes. The green was almost completely swallowed by pure deep black.

Tevos took a shaky breath, then pulled away from her, and slowly walked towards her bedroom. The commander waited a few seconds and stared at her speechless. Completely fascinated by the gentle sway of her hips.

"Are you coming?" The velvety dark tone inflamed her insides and she nodded. On the way, she started to open the buttons of her jacket, and cursed silently that she was wearing so many layers. Under the black jacket she was wearing a white undershirt and including even a bra. The light fabric felt extremely heavy and too restrictive on her skin.

Before she even came to unbutton the vest, Tevos let the white dress slip from her shoulders. Shepard stopped every move. Her heart seemed to have arrhythmias. She felt it hard to catch her breath when the breathtakingly beautiful person come to her up. Tevos skin gleamed in the dim light between dark blue and purple. Shepard followed the drawing that ran down her side down, and how to entice the eye in an arc across her collarbone and in a second on her hip.

Shepard swallowed, she wanted to say something, but she could find no words. She must have died and gone to heaven. Tevos hands lay on her upper body and slid over her shirt. "May I?" Her voice trembled, and her cheeks were darker than usual. Shepard nodded, still speechless. Their lips met again and her hands went to Tevos hips. Her skin was pure velvet. Not hard and muscular as her own body, but soft and seductive.

"So beautiful," she could not believe how rough her voice sounded. Tevos smiled at her lips as her fingers slowly opened the last few buttons.

"Shepard, before we go any further, I must tell you something." Shepard went a little into the knee to capture Tevos's look. The asari tried to avoid her, her gaze drifted hesitantly to one side, then she moistened her lips, and inhaled. "You asked if it was long ago..." The Commander frowned. "It is." Tevos looked away again. She tremble under Shepard's hands, who only could imagine how hard it

was for Tevos to tell her.

"How long?" She could not help asking. "Centuries," Shepard looked at her in disbelief, but the excitement that accompanied this confession, she could not shake off. "Why?"

Tevos eyelids drooped and her hands slid to Shepard's shoulders. She stroked over the thin fabric of her upper arms and rubbed over the hard muscles. Shepard thought she had gone too far, as the silent stretched. "An Asari I loved broke my heart."

Shepard protective instinct roared. "Where can I find them?" Tevos smiled and helped her take off the upper part of her clothes. "In Purgatory." She laughed and the sound brightened Shepard's innermost thoughts immediately, and drove away the dark feeling. "And it's been so long, I just wanted you to know..." She cocked her neck to the side and Shepard accepted the invitation, her lips found Tevos' pulse and the Councilor sighed blissfully. "I'm a little out of practice," she admitted finally.

These words had an unexpected effect on Shepard. She felt the excitement rushing in her and she moaned deeply. Knowing that Tevos wanted after all this time was exactly as if the Asari never had someone in life. Their kisses grew hungry and she opened Tevos bra. They let the white fabric simply fall to the ground, and then she Tevos pushed onto the bed. Shepard got rid of the rest of her clothes and lay down over the Asari.

Her weight carefully balanced on her knees, she did not want to hold back any longer. Her lips brushed over the soft skin, her tongue followed the path of the clavicle, and then hovered her mouth only a few millimeters over one nipple. Shepard's gaze settled on Tevos's face as she took it between her lips. Tevos's eyes widened and she bucked against Shepard as the Commander sucked gently. "Oh Goddess," her breath ragged.

The commander wanted to take its time, time to explore this incredible body, but her gentle touch drove Tevos faster toward a climax, as the two of them was aware of. "Oh Shepard please," she did not know immediately what the asari begged for, but then she saw the black eyes, feet the gentle mental inquiry. The feeling was not new to her, Liara had initiated a melt with her years ago and a few times after, but this time it was different.

The moment Tevos mind floated into hers, it was like she dived in a silvery sea of emotions. She gasped at the intensity for air and felt the loss of contact the moment, Tevos felt it. Immediately she closed the gap between their lips and Tevos breast, and her hand slid deeper. She shifted a little to slip her hand under the thin fabric of the pantie, and caught by surprised how moist the Asari was. Through their connection she felt Tevos embarrassment, but Shepard found it arousing.

Her fingers massaged the already hard clit and Tevos breathe quickened. She whimpered with each strike of Shepard's more as the young soldier tried to figure out what the Asari particularly liked. It was hard to hold back. She felt a pull on her shoulders and was willing to move up. Tevos's eyes were wide and the green completely replaced by shiny black, and yet the expression was almost frightened. Shepard kissed her, slowly and deeply.

"Let yourself fall, I'm here and I'll catch you," she promised. Her finger just probed millimeters into the Councilor, but it was enough. Tevos went rigid and the Commander managed barely to follow the movements, as she experienced her own climax. This sharing of feelings was a surprise for her and she moaned deeply at Tevos lips, kissed her passionate till the climax faded.

She barely noticed it, but then she felt that Tevos withdrew before her. The Councilor buried her

face into her shoulder and slowly separated minds. She even pulled back a little physically. " Don't… stop." Slowly and shyly Tevos looked into her eyes. Shepard stroked her forehead and kissed her gently. "That was wonderful," she whispered, daring her hand, which she had not taken away between Tevos's legs to move again. The breath of the Asari accelerated immediately and Shepard smiled as she relaxed again.

...

The next morning came too quickly. Commander Shepard closed regretfully the buttons of her uniform jacket and watched Tevos getting dressed in her Councilor's dress. "Shepard," she cleared her throat, "thank you." She took Shepard's hands and looked deeply into her eyes. "Be… be careful out there."

The Commander nodded. She raised Tevos's two hands to her lips and kissed every knuckle. "You too, and if so, if we survive this ..." her voice trailed off.

"Then come back to me."

She did not want to, but she had to go. As the door closed, it were these words that accompanied her. As she took the base of the Illusive man, it was the hope that Tevos had survived the attack of the Reaper on the Citadel, which let her go on. And when she opted for the destruction, knowing the chance of her own survival was equal to zero, it was Tevos face she let her go forward and her voice in her ears.

Shepard went into the red beam, and clung to it that it was the right thing to do. The last thing she heard before everything exploded around her, was Tevos laughter, how it had brighten her face, shown off their eyes, and enlightened Shepard's world, at least for one evening.


End file.
